Habits are Hard to Break

My wife and I had a son in April of 2000. Shortly after he was born I had to make several different short business trips to appear on various television shows.

Each day I was gone I called at least once or twice. It was very tempting to start off the conversation with questions about Ashton: "How is he doing? How has he been sleeping? Is he eating ok? Is he making any funny faces?" Likewise, it would be very natural for me to run and pick him up as soon as I returned home, hold him tight and tell him how much I missed him. I did neither.

I made a very conscious decision that when I called Athena and when I returned home, I would first ask her how her day was, how she was feeling and let her know just how much I missed her. After I made sure it was clear that she was my top concern, then I asked about Ashton or went over to hold him in my arms.

In these exciting first months of parenthood, it would be very easy for me to fall into the habit of paying close attention to my child and brush aside my wife to second place. The problem is, habits are hard to break. What might seem like a momentary change of priorities often becomes the norm for years on out. I've noted many parents who have unknowing neglected the spouse when children come on the scene.

This does not only happen to parents. Men and women let other things become priority over their mate: work, family, friends, household duties, even hobbies. What might seem like a temporary issue that needs our top priority, may soon be permanently elevated above our spouse simply out of habit.

No matter what new exciting event happens in your life, make a conscious decision to express yourself clearly that your mate will come first -- always.

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