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Lord Byron (1788 - 1824) was one of England's most notorious womanizers. A
world-famous poet by the age of 24, he had a brief but extremely passionate
affair with Lady Caroline Lamb. Pressured by Caroline's mother (who herself
may have harbored affections for Byron), he used the opportunity to put an end
to the relationship. In this letter, he explains his reasoning.
August 1812
My dearest Caroline,
If tears, which you saw & know I am not apt to shed, if the agitation in
which I parted from you, agitation which you must have perceived through the whole
of this most nervous nervous affair, did not commence till the moment
of leaving you approached, if all that I have said & done, & am still
but too ready to say & do, have not sufficiently proved what my real
feelings are & must be ever towards you, my love, I have no other proof to
offer.
God knows I wish you happy, & when I quit you, or rather when you from a
sense of duty to your husband & mother quit me, you shall acknowledge the
truth of what I again promise & vow, that no other in word or deed shall
ever hold the place in my affection which is & shall be most sacred to
you, till I am nothing.
I never knew till that moment, the madness of -- my dearest
& most beloved friend -- I cannot express myself -- this is no time for
words -- but I shall have a pride, a melancholy pleasure, in suffering what
you yourself can hardly conceive -- for you don not know me. -- I am now about
to go out with a heavy heart, because -- my appearing this Evening will stop
any absurd story which the events of today might give rise to -- do you think now
that I am cold & stern, & artful -- will even others
think so, will your mother even -- that mother to whom we must indeed
sacrifice much, more much more on my part, than she shall ever know
or can imagine.
"Promises not to love you" ah Caroline it is past promising -- but
shall attribute all concessions to the proper motive -- & never cease to
feel all that you have already witnessed -- & more than can ever be known
but to my own heart -- perhaps to yours -- May God protect forgive & bless
you -- ever & even more than ever.
yr. most attached
BYRON
P.S. -- These taunts which have driven you to this -- my dearest Caroline --
were it not for your mother & the kindness of all your connections, is
there anything on earth or heaven would have made me so happy as to have made
you mine long ago? & not less now than then, but more than ever at this
time -- you know I would with pleasure give up all here & all beyond the
grave for you -- & in refraining from this -- must my motives be
misunderstood --? I care not who knows this -- what use is made of it -- it is
you & to you only that they owe yourself, I was and am yours, freely &
most entirely, to obey, to honour, love --& fly with you when, where,
& how you yourself might & may determine.
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